Oh, we hear it so much… When you finally unveil the narcissist in your life, it takes so little time for the circle around you to start wondering if.. by any chance, it would not be you, is it not your fault? Are you not the actual perverse individual who is merely mirroring accusations?
I read the news. There are many people, famous or not, who find themselves in difficult relationships. I do not see narcissist everywhere. I can see the difference between a plain violent chauvinists, weak and feeble people who take it out on even weaker ones… and narcissists.
When I read the news about Marie Trintignant, I was saddened. The instant conclusion for me was that Bertrand Cantat was a violent drunk or junkie.
Then I read that his ex-wife was supporting him and witnessing that he was the kind of person who would never hurt another human being. Then, I started to doubt.
I had a dear friend who had a rough relationship. His girlfriend left him and he could not accept it. One day, he drank too much, went to her house and set fire to the shutters, terrorized her and their son. He was arrested by the police. The next day, I went to pick him up.
As I said, he was a dear friend of mine. Nevertheless, when he tried to justify his actions, I asked him to shut up. I told him that if I was related to his ex-girlfriend in any way (and if I was a man!), I would smash his face, because what he did was unacceptable.
Now, that Bertrand Cantat’s ex-wife would testify that he is a gentle lamb, after another woman died from his battering her, after he let her die in a room, while le sat in the next… I started to doubt.
This woman, just like Marie before she died, was under influence. She is now dead too. She took her own life despite her responsibility towards her two children. Leaving a narcissist is at times impossible, even more so when children are involved, so she made a choice, she left her children to be raised by him, and she chose to give in.
Yes, Peoples get it rough too. Read the article relating Lio’s story. Lio is a wonderful woman, and I admire her. As she said, she was with a narcissist and she did not know, she actually blamed herself “not good enough, not patient, not understanding enough”… We have all been there.