A taboo?

There are many things that happen in life and we want to share with someone, to exchange and relate. Domestic abuse is different though. Once you share your trouble with a family member or a friend, you very often realise that what many people want is not to know. Once they know, they can’t help it, but they do not consider you the same.

file4831259340810I always found this funny though. It is the victim who gets looked down.

When you open up, you also realise that everyone knew, somewhere, somehow, they knew the guy is a brute. They just never put one and one together to be able to expose him, but they knew. So, no big revelation here.

The big revelation, however, is the fact that you are putting up with it. Why do you put up with it? Why don’t you leave. And follow all very sound advise on how they would leave your husband, if ever… They are not walking in your shoes and they will never understand what you are going through.

Telling someone helps you, but not in an obvious way. It won’t help you to get out of it, it won’t help your father or your brother to break his face… At best, it will just continue on, at worse you might lose some friend.

However, assure yourself that it does help. How? When you tell someone, you will hear yourself saying it: you are a victim, you are an abused woman. Saying it is accepting it, and by accepting it, you are on your way to doing something about it, even if, for now, it is just something that sounds like complaining about your husband.


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